A Dowg's Life

I’m a dowg. Woof.

Kaun banega 20-hazaarpati?

Blog date: June 2010.

I’m a happy man today. Rains do that to me. I received an image around midnight on my Blackberry showing the first few drops from the sky and soon Facebook & Twitter was flooded with updates from Bombay people about their delight at this sudden drop in temperature. Out came my last cigarette and with chilled beer in hand I enjoyed the moist breeze sweep across my apartment. After, probably the hottest summer in history, I doubt if the companies supplying air-condition were relishing this climate as much as I was. It’s true that nothing lasts forever & I was already preparing myself for a humid day to follow.

I woke up to the constant beeping of my phone; my buddies were going on about how glad they were about this ‘soulful’ decision taken by GK. At 8 in the morning, it was little too serious for me to digest but considering the fact that it was actually an important discussion even my inputs were required. What did I do? I slept again! Duh!

So, after my morning masala chai & reading the sports section in TOI I got back to my Blackberry group chat. It took me about 3 minutes to scroll all the way up and another 15 to go through the entire conversation. So, here’s the deal, GK collected payment for a job he is about to pull off in the coming week and his client handed over 20,000 rupees extra to him. Yea, cash payment is still pretty usual in today’s date despite the constant reminders from the Government about its ill effects on the society and the development of our country. Anyway, coming back to the conversation – the extra payment was done by mistake. I think the envelopes were mixed or something but the bottom line is that GK had some extra cash, which he realized once he got home late last night. I think his client was enjoying the rains as well. Hee Hee

Our conversations had four main contributors, as the others were either out of station or had better things to do. I think it’s the latter.

GK is a typical Gujju guy who loves his dandiya and thepla as much as bonding with other Gujjus. Also, he love going on regular religious trips. I prefer to get drunk and wake up with a massive hangover to deal with issues in my life but he prefers to take long road trips to achieve the much-needed peace of mind. His last such visit was quite interesting (more about in the coming articles or on other thoughts, never!). This guy is probably the most emotional person in the entire lot. He cried when Jack died in Titanic!!!! We all refer to him as RDB as he is more than capable of sending/singing/dancing ‘Roobaru’ song at any given point of time. I have had the pleasure of getting him drunk and then watching him make a fool of himself. With God’s grace, I shall continue to laugh at his expense for a long time! *Evil grin*

RN is tall, fair & unusually ‘slim’ Sindhi dude. Trust me when I say that any girl would give her right arm to have his waistline. He is a banker by profession and according to all of us, is the biggest dhabba on all Sindhis!! We say this because he has literally spent more on others and has never kept a record of the money he lent to his friends. An extremely meticulous guy; from knowing exactly where his socks are kept to which mutual fund to buy. Always a sound thinker but sadly not a do-er (as yet), he has all the perfect life plans already set in his mind and is working his way towards achieving everyone of his goals slowly but surely. I turn to him to get his support for the wrongs I want to commit in my life & he backs me 100% without blinking an eyelid. I always wanted to say this to him and now seems to be the perfect time. So, here goes – Fuck you dude for lighting my first cigarette and for making my first drink. I will get back at you for spoiling me and one day you shall pay for the being my support system. SCREW YOU!!!

DF is probably the most unusual and strange person in my group. Unusual because he can be summarized by one simple word – Humanitarian! Strange because he is an overly selfless person and a complete giver under any situation. I have asked him quite a few times if he is indeed a human and he has always smiled and ignored my question. Honestly, I can’t be bothered about my second cousin’s wedding but he will make it a point to attend his maid’s cousin’s neighbor’s step-daughter’s child’s school friend’s fourth marriage! He is an immensely talented individual but hasn’t achieved the due glory only because of his goodness. Even his employer knows that he is worth at least three people’s brain and skills. How? He works like an ass (or is it dowg?) around the clock to makes sure he meets the deadlines AFTER helping his colleagues to complete their respective tasks. I don’t know what I did in the past to deserve this weirdo but I am glad I have him on my speed-dial.

I am the fourth contributor and as you already know, I am awesome!

The topic was actually over even before I punched in my first comment. Why? Simple! GK messaged his client at 7 am to inform him of the extra payment and was almost outside his house to return the money. I was quite pissed off to know that he thought this good deed would get him more money and more work from the client.

C’mon man he is paying you to organize his wedding. You expect him to keep getting married every month?” was my only addition to the entire conversation. The very next moment I got a call from GK (you have to see his display photo, hilarious to say the least). He was already on conference with the other two musketeers and was ready to gang up on me for my ‘rude’ comment. What followed was a great eye opener for me. Eye opener – not because I agreed with them but because of the realization that our upbringing has such an extreme affect on us and we never really grow out of it.

“I don’t want to keep the money which I haven’t eared” “What is not yours, will never be yours” “Cheating ka paisa kabhi kisi ko hajam nahi hota” There were quite a few similar dialogues which came my way during the conference call while I made my way through heavy traffic. By the time we all reached our respective offices, I ‘accepted’ the fact that it was really a ‘good deed’. GK was ‘right’. His client ‘deserved’ to know the truth.

My real thoughts?

I think it was absolutely ridiculous to even think of returning the money. In today’s cutthroat market you need every push possible to get yourself ahead of your competition. 20,000 rupees might not be a big amount but it surely would have paid three of his employee’s monthly salaries. Maybe a special spa treatment for his parents? How about some jewellary for the wife? He could have gifted RN the phone he is wishing for since donkey’s age. Why not send DF on a vacation, which he deserves?

I get the logic behind “I can’t use the money which is not mine” but how about using it for others? If nothing mentioned above makes sense to you then donate it to some charity!!! Why would you take the money back to some guy who anyway is doing an illegal transaction by dishing out cash payments? Such deals only mean one thing; He didn’t earn this money in the ‘right’ manner! So, how did he deserve to get it back?

I think the entire blame should go to our parents for raising such ‘pure hearted’ individuals. It’s pathetic to know that even after almost touching 30, none of us have it in us to dupe someone or pull off a scam. We have everything to pull it off – successfully! Except for a heart to do so.

We all are fighting against time to achieve our targets and lead a normal life with decent luxuries. Opportunity knocked on GK’s door but he dismissed it thinking it was noise.

Nevertheless, I am a happy man. … Why? Simple! It’s raining …again!


Ps. I would have returned the money too.



10 responses to “Kaun banega 20-hazaarpati?

  1. Visha June 5, 2011 at 10:36 am

    What I love about ur stories is that they are engaging. What’s unique about them is that ure in no rush to make a point at the end but it’s a worthwhile ending all the same. Looking forward to more!

  2. Anoop June 5, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Like I said on twitter, three points:

    1. Be it on upbringing or human side, majority of us would have returned the amount, which seems right too.

    2. Like I asked, if I get a necklace or something by mistake, would we gift it to wife/parents? also, would they like it if they know its not earned.

    3. If in this case, client is filthy rich and 20k is peanuts for him, would we have second thoughts to return

    • thebigdowg June 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

      Sorry for the late reply.
      1. I know a lot of people who wouldn’t have returned the money. Maybe because of their nature or maybe because of the circumstances that they might be facing. It’s strange how the human mind works in different situations.
      2. I’m not how would you get a necklace ‘by mistake’. I’m not what I would do with it.
      3. No, I would have done the same irrespective to my client’s bank balance.

  3. md610 June 6, 2011 at 9:45 am

    //I am the fourth contributor and as you already know, I am awesome!// Yes Sir you are coz you would have returned the money too.

    It is indeed our upbringing which shapes our personality. Loved the post and loved the way you introduced us to a chapter from your life.

    Beautiful and heart rendering post.

    //Opportunity knocked on GK’s door but he dismissed it thinking it was noise.// Classic stroke!

  4. meethimirchi June 6, 2011 at 9:55 am

    good one :). and when you get these types of money you dnt have satisfaction and happiness from it, 🙂

  5. Pavan November 14, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    And i’ve detected a mistake in the article. ‘effect’ for ‘affect’. The description of your friends was v. interesting to read. You are such a writer man

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