I wrote this blog in 2010. Many things have changed since then and a lot many new learnings have been absorbed in the system. Somethings, however, changed for the worse. I would like to be this guy again. His life was uncomplicated and easy. Mine, well, maybe I’ll write about it some other time.
I am a happy man. I have been happy for quite sometime now and it has nothing to do with my over flowing bank account or exceedingly fulfilling personal life. The sole reason behind this emotion is the beautiful atmosphere I breathe these days. No, It’s not the weather – It’s the feeling!
Let me explain, after 28 years of surviving this world & all that comes along with it. Recently, Finally, I sensed that I really didn’t have to survive anything. Nothing to be proved. Nothing to be conquered. Noone to be pleased. Noone to be destroyed. I feel so because, lets face it, life is way too short to please everyone! I have settled to please the one and only person, the most important person in my life – ME!!!!
Today, I spend every single second in doing things that make me happy. Materialistic or otherwise, I want it all. Selfishly enough, I have started taking part in other’s success/happy moments – at times it is genuine, at times it is purely for the love of free alcohol, arm candies & cake! I don’t lie to people to make them happy but I don’t disclose the entire truth either. I don’t want to hurt anyone; only to keep my life simple & hassle free. I want to experience every fascinating/stupid/expensive/free feeling that I wake up with. No one else exists in my priority list anymore.
Today, I have become too proud to lose my sleep over lost business opportunity. I am not saying that it doesn’t hurt me to face failures or to see money find another pocket, it obviously affects me, but, I know for a fact that there is enough work for everyone in the market (provided you aren’t a dumbass). I have seen money up close. I slept with her. I made her my bitch. Now I have lost interest, so, I don’t go looking for her every day and I’m more than happy meeting her once a month. I couldn’t care less who takes her home these days. She keeps me satisfied and that’s all that matters.
Today, the daily routine sucks up every bit of energy from my soul, thus preventing me from plotting all the horrendous plans we see in the daily soaps every night on every channel. Every individual has an obsession of cursing the ‘routine life’ and they do so for extremely valid reasons. However, I would like to say that one should not underestimate this ‘life’ even for a split second. If not for your tiresome, lonely, low paying, unfulfilling & completely frustrating routine; you would have to worry about issues like inflation, global warming, continuously decreasing life expectancy, water/land shortage, pathetic hygiene/health and the most dreaded topic – family/future planning! I am not saying that you don’t question yourself about these things, but you do it in your free time. Imagine if you didn’t have your miserable routine every day – you would have 24 hours of free time. What the hell will you do then?
Today, I have become exceptionally ignorant as well. Today’s headline is tomorrow’s waste. Be it Prince (the boy wonder) or Kasab. From Ayodhya to the CWG. I personally think that there is no real news in any of the news channels. No exceptions. For some unknown reason every ‘journalist’ concentrates purely on the negative and conveniently forgets the good in the world. Eg. they spent numerous hours/pages in talking about how CWG was the biggest scam in the history of all scams. They focused only on the 10% of unfinished work, and conveniently kept aside the 90% of splendor. Having said that, I think it is entirely our fault! They show what we want to see. Incase we don’t, we ignore it and change channels for some better form of entertainment. It is a slow but sure way of changing things. We have ignored things (stupid saans-bahu serials or declining levels of journalism) for so long that now it has reached a situation where everything on television is just an idiotic and fictitious take on society! Maybe the times will change and life will come full circle, but for now, we have to settle for ‘Chain se jeena hai toh jaag jao’ morons.
Today, I am happy because I have accepted few things about life in general. I have absolutely no qualms in declaring that I am extremely selfish, highly conceited, completely ignorant guy who has a pathetic and frustrating daily life!
Strangely enough these ‘drawbacks’ are proving to be the best thing to have happened to me.
Today, I am a happy man.